The question is more likely- What’s not new?  It’s been a long time since I blogged.  Last fall I took a new position with a pet insurance company.  It’s been a nice change of pace- no longer wrestling mis-behaved dogs on the tile floor, and working in a position where I’m respected and valued- like I said- quite a change of pace.  My work hours are great- and I’m able to pick up the kids after school each day.  There’s alot to be said for being there after school to see their faces when they leave the building, and interact with their classmates.

This school year has been filled with lots of ups and downs.  I am learning as I go along that I am greatly underqualified to counsil children on the ins and outs of schoolyard behavior.  There have been many times where I have not known what to say.  My son recently had a situation where some of his classmates said some very hurtful things to him.  I don’t know what to say to make it ok.  People sometimes say horrible things, and there’s nothing I can say that will make it go away- or make it OK.  I didn’t know how to deal with it as a child, and I certainly don’t know how to deal with it as a parent.  All I know is that there have been a day or two where I had to ask myself “is it ok to shake someone else’s child?”

That being said, both of the kids have had some wonderful highlights throughout their year.  My daughter was chosen for the superstars gymnastics group, and she is super excited about it. She is quite the little athlete (not that I am biased).  My son, who has always loved the water – as long as you don’t tell him what to do- participated in swimming lessons this spring for the first time in 2 years.  He not only passed, but was skipped a level!

As for me, I experienced a moment of insanity around Christmas time, and enrolled in a Sprint Triathalon, along with a triathalon training clinic. What was I thinking???  Let’s see, a middle age, very overweight woman who was completely inactive enrolls in a triathalon.  Sounds logical doesn’t it??  NOT!  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I began January 2nd- you can’t start on January 1st- there’s still good food kicking around from the night before.  I began by running with a couple of friends once a week, and trying to swim laps.  February 9th the training clinic began.  When I enrolled for the training clinic, I imagined a large range of abilities surrounding me.  However, when I showed up the first day, I found 7 people who were in very good shape- some who have previously completed triathalons, myself, and one other woman who recently had twins.  Needless to say, there is a large gap between the 7 and the 2.  I haven’t decided if having the majority of the group being much more advanced is encouraging, or discouraging- it depends on the day.  My husband will attest to the fact that I can come home one day feeling pumped up that I am improving, and the next day I’ll come home crying.  I am sure that he is loving this rollercoaster as much as I am!  The trainer who runs the clinic is fantastic- without her leadership I would probably have quit by now.  Rain or shine, the group meets three times a week, and it is nice to know that there are people expecting me to show up.  There is no way I could have trained enough on my own to be able to accomplish my goal in such a short time.  The triathalon is April 20th- which is creeping up quickly!

As the day draws closer, I am trying to remind myself that I am ”In it to Finish it” and that my goal all along was to get in shape and have fun doing it.  I recognize that I am no where near competitive.

As usual, I have had a verse from a song stuck in my head lately, so I thought I’ld share it with everyone- it’s kind of how I see things right now…..

I’m broke but I’m happy

I’m poor but I’m kind

I’m short but I’m healthy, yeah

I’m high but I’m grounded

I’m sane but I’m overwhelmed

I’m lost but I’m hopeful baby

What it all comes down to Is that everything’s gonna be fine fine fine.

Alright, so I’m not quite sure why I love 80′s bands so much, but today I’ve been thinking about my last farmer’s market which is coming up on the weekend.  I have really loved my farmer’s market experience over the summer.  They’re casual, everyone’s in a good mood, and everyone loves food!  This weekend will be the last one of the year (or forever…).  They are having the annual Cranberry Festivle on Saturday in Fort Langley, and there will be hundreds of booths, and thousands of people.  I am a little apprehensive about how I’ll be able to bake enough stuff while working full time, and I was thinking that I really miss my “partner in crime” that I started my baking journey with.  This fantastic song from Whitesnake has been running through my mind all afternoon.

Here I go again on my own Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone ‘Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.
Here I go again on my own Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. An’ I’ve made up my mind, I ain’t wasting no more time But here I go again, here I go again, Here I go again, here I go, Here I go again.

Although my children thoroughly enjoyed watching me enthusiastically sing this song into my chopsticks tonight while playing air guitar…..It’s gotta go!  Songs stick in my head for way too long.  My daughter tried to help me by singing a delightful french song about falling leaves over, and over…..but yet- Whitesnack prevails!

Anyhow, I’m looking forward to enjoying the Cranberry Festivle.  Andrew and I have gone every year for probably the last 10 years, and I have always wondered what it would be like to have a booth there.  So, I’m going to give it my best shot.  Together with Andrew’s help, I’m hoping I can crank out enough baking for all the hungry tummies, and big eyes.

Hope to see lots of familiar faces….there’s nothing nicer that Fort Langley in the Fall!

You know the saying “Honesty is the best policy”?  Well….that may be true, but it’s also the hardest in some cases.  As I turn over this new leaf in my life of trying to be honest and open with my friends and family, I find myself reflecting on the impact of honesty.  I am not really a “dishonest” person, but when I look at all the little things that I skirt around, or “don’t say”, I realize that I’m not really an “honest person”.  And, I don’t think I’m alone!  I think that it is deeply ingrained in us as we grow up that we are not to say things that may hurt another person, and that we’re not to take things too personally.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  But so does not telling the truth.  When I think about it, the underlying feelings of pushing my feelings aside has caused more hurt than perhaps would have come from telling the truth.  Unfortunately, the reality is that pushing those feelings aside sometimes causes resentment without me even realizing.  How do I learn to be honest in a way that I can still be loving?  How can I be an “honest” person in a dis-honest world?

Fall has come, and it is by far, my favorite time of year.  For me, fall feels like a new beginning.  It’s when we start our new routines, and when we plan for the year (especially with school-age children).  I love the days of normal routine and cozy dinners.  I love sweaters, and boots, and jackets.  And most of all, I love stormy nights and a nice fireplace (actual fire place yet to be attained).

Our family is already settling into the routine of fall.  The kids are back at school, and have their schedules.  I am back at work, and am figuring out my groove in life.  Going back to work has been an adjustment.  I started a week ago, and already feel like it’s been longer.  I seem to be settling in quickly.  The other people in the office are really friendly, and welcoming, and the company itself seems positive and encouraging.

Being back at work full time has meant some adjustments at home.  My husband and I have re-negotiated our roles.  He has agreed to make dinner twice a week.  It has been FANTASTIC!  Not only is he a great cook, he likes to try new recipes, and most importantly…….it’s not me that has to make it!  It has been a wonderful turn of events in our home, and I’m really enjoying working as more of a team.

Even though it’s fall we have had summer weather this week, and it’s made me think of my memories of a summer well spent.  I thought I’ld post some pictures of our last week of holidays spent up at our family cabin.

The tradition in our house is that we always take a picture of the kids on the first day of each grade.  Ainsley was supper excited to be starting grade 1.

Here are the two kids together.

Well, summer is coming to an end, and I was reflecting on all that has happened this summer.  I have been thinking a lot about my son learning to ride his bike.  Learning to take the risk and ride his bike was a big challenge, and as I wrote before, he had this attitude of ” don’t touch me, don’t touch my bike…..I’ll do it myself”.  As a mother, this was extremely painful to watch and as a mother my instinct says, ” help him”.  But, I couldn’t.  I watched him crash over, and over, and over again.  By the time he learned to ride his bike, his legs were covered in large colourful bruises, and scrapes.  My son’s delayed bike riding skills came from his high anxiety levels and delayed social skills that come along with an ASD.

I have been thinking lately that maybe we’re all a little socially challenged.  I know that I certainly get the ” don’t help me…..I’ll do it myself” attitude when I’m facing challenges.  Why are we so against accepting help from loved ones?  Maybe (like my son) we’ll eventually figure things out, but could we get there with a few less scrapes and bruises along the way?  If we could humble ourselves enough to accept help, maybe we could avoid some of the hurt and damage that may comes along with whatever journey we’re on.

So, as I think about this, one of my goals for this fall is to be open with my family and friends, and allow them into my life.  Maybe I can learn to skip the “I’ll do it myself” attitude, and accept a bit of help now and then…………

As the summer comes to an end, so does my freedom and down time.  I have accepted a job starting Sept. 10th.  I really feel like this job has come in God’s timing.  I had put out so many resumes in the spring, and heard nothing.  Once the kids were out of school, I decided to just relax, and take the summer off with my kids.  I think that the time was really a blessing from God.  I needed that break.  In the middle of August I saw a job posting I was interested in, and sent in my resume.  The next day I got a phone call, a couple days later I had an interview, and a few days after that I got a job offer.  This job is in my field, and it has hours that will work for my family.  One of my goals when looking for a job was that I wanted to be able to pick my kids up after school.  This company was able to offer me the hours that I needed to be able to do that.  I am happy and thankful that I will be able to work, and keep this valuable time with my kids.  God’s hands were all over this, and for that I’m thankful!

It has been quite a long time since I blogged.  I’m pretty sure that anyone who did read this, has now moved on….but hey- that’s not why I blog.  I’m not really sure why I haven’t blogged in a while.  I think that after talking with a few friends this morning, it’s because I felt like I was in a “holding pattern”.  I need to get a job.  I don’t want to get a job.  I don’t really feel like I’ve been making any great improvements around the house, or with myself.  I always thought that if I was home with the kids all the time I would do all sorts of projects, and I’ld be in great shape……I guess that’s not really the case.  Somehow, the time seems to go by, and I’m still the same.

I have made no efforts on the exercise or weight-loss front.  My husband tried to kindly ask me last night that if I “say” I want to lose weight, and get in shape, and I still continue to eat crap, and not exercise, do I “actually” want to lose weight?  Sadly, the answer is YES.  So….why do I continually sabotage myself?  My only thought is that if I’m unhappy, and I’m fat- I can blame it on being fat.  If I lose the weight, and I still suck and feel unhappy, then what?  Maybe I’ld have to realize that it’s actually the inner ME that’s the problem.  I’ld have no excuses.

Anyways, there have been some great things happening with my family over the summer.  For starters….My baby girl lost one of her front teeth.  I always love the “gap in the yap”.

The kids spent a few weeks over the summer doing summer day camps.  One week they went to soccer camp, and they had a blast.

The kids also decided that this year they wanted a “real” pool.  Not a kiddie pool like they had before, but a REAL pool.  So….recognizing that the kids didn’t really NEED a pool, and being un-employed, I told the kids that if they wanted a pool, they would need to work to earn the money for a pool.  The kids collected pop cans, and bottles from friends and family, and earned the money they needed to get their pool.  I was very proud of them for working for what they wanted, and I think that they are enjoying it so much more than if it was just given to them.  They spend time in the pool almost every day.  Before this summer neither one of my kids could really swim.  My son who has an ASD was not able to participate in swimming lessons.  We had tried, but his anxieties were just totally out of control when he there.  He loves being in the water, but only on his own terms.  He has now taught himself to swim, and with the summer olympics, he has now started to learn things like the butterfly and the backstroke.  Our daughter has now started copying him, and she is well on her way to swimming on her own.

As a parent, my instinct is to “help”.  With my son, he wants to teach himself how to do things by himself.  Like swimming, and again with riding a bike, he will not allow anyone to help him, or give advice.  My daughter had started riding her bike a little bit last summer without training wheels, but was still a little shaky, and was nervous about trying again this summer.  My son didn’t really want to go on his bike without training wheels last summer.  However, we got the bikes out, and decided to try again.  This time they got it!  Again, on totally different terms.  My daughter liked me to hold onto the back of the seat at first, helping her to balance until she felt comfortable.  My son didn’t want me to touch him, or his bike.  He also didn’t want me to tell him what to do.  And yet- they both learned. My son told me after that riding his bike is “the most amazing feeling ever”.  Both kids are very pleased with their accomplishments, and all they want to do is ride their bikes.  I now get asked 20+ times a day to go bike riding.

In other news, our chickens have started to lay eggs!  We’ve got two chicken eggs so far, and the quail continue to lay eggs regularly.  Last night I picked up our original chicken (an adult) from my friends farm, and brought “Millie” home.  She seems to have integrated well into the chicken coop, and I’ve now put all three quail in with the chickens now.  So far everyone seems to be getting along alright.  I am happy to have them all together.  We have now installed the ramp in the coop, so they have an enclosed space “upstairs” that they can nest in.  It also provides a little extra space for everyone spread out.  The coop is now functional, but needs some finishing touches.  I am SOOOOO happy with the coop, and am very thankful that my husband has been so great about building this for me.

We were unsure how our neighbours would respond to the chicken coop.  It has proven to be a way for us to connect with our neighbours who we rarely spoke with before.  They started to show interest in our “project” when the building began.  They now come and check on the progress regularly, and smile- telling us that they used to have chickens in India.  They seem happy to have some feathered neighbours, and we’re happy to have built this connection with them.  They have a very large vegetable garden, and have started passing zucchinis over the fence, and now we can pass fresh eggs back!

Ok.  Confession time.  A month ago I proudly posted about my “big accomplishment” of running 5km by June 15th- which was the goal I had set for myself.  At that time, I put it out there that my new goal was to run 8km by July 15th.  Well….. EPIC FAIL!!  Since June 15th, I  have not run once.  I have done a couple of bike rides, and one circuit session, but seriously- I sucked.  I don’t really know what to say about this.  I have no excuses.  Why do I do this to myself?  I get to a certain point, and then I totally let myself down.  What is wrong with me?  If I just stuck with these things, I would be happier, and healthier- but No.

My husband took a picture of me the other day, and I looked at it, and I could hardly believe my eyes.  I didn’t even recognize myself.  The person in the picture was not me- it was not the person that I see myself as on the inside.  How can I make myself make the changes that I need to make?

Some people think that if you want something- you’ll just do it- and it’s simple.  Well, maybe the idea is simple.  However, I’m learning that for some people (me), it’s just not cut and dry.  If anyone know’s how to “fix” this- I’m all ears.

In other news…..This weekend was productive and fun.  I had the opportunity to try some new recipes.  I was working on Scone recipes, and I actually made some good ones!  So, I tried four types of scones, and 3 were successful.  First I made Double Chocolate Almond Scones- these were my favorites.

Then I made Scones with Dark Chocolate, Toasted Almonds and Coconut.  These were also good.

Last, I made Cheese and Onion Scones.  How can you go wrong with cheese and onion?

I think that all three of these scones will go over well at the Farmer’s Market.  I have signed up to do an extra day at the Farmer’s Market this Saturday, July 21st.  I am hoping it will go well.  Stay tuned for more Market News.

Other successes of the weekend included a cleaning and organization session in the garage, and an evening in Steveston with the kids.

This summer my son has decided that he would like to teach himself Japanese.  So, while we were in Steveston, he used his allowance money to buy himself an English to Japanese Dictionary.  Ever since, he’s been looking up words, and writing things down.  Ethan uses the dictionary all the time.  It will be interesting to see how much Japanese he knows by the end of the summer!

It’s been a while since we started the prep for building our coop.  However, we’ve finally found time to continue with this project.  My husband has put many hours into this coop, and I expect that we’ll have some very happy hens!

We had dug out the area where the coop patio was going in our yard.  We then put the gravel in and tamped it all down, and then the hard part started.  Andrew then had to put all the sand down, and make sure it was level, and my Dad came and helped me figure out how the paving stones fit together.

Dad and I first laid all the stones out on the grass to figure out the pattern.  It was like a giant puzzle…..a heavy, giant puzzle.  Did I mention that it was 30 degrees out?

Andrew was able to get the stones laid, and then……”the crew” came.  Andrew’s Dad, brother, and family friend came to help build the coop, and they made quick work of the project.  Again, it was a fairly hot day, but between the four men, the majority of the coop was built in one day.

Pretty good for one day eh?  Today I painted the inside of the coop.  This is how it looks tonight.

This amazing progress has been thanks to the fantastic “crew” we had here on Tuesday, and to my wonderful husband who has taken the time to draw up the plans and put in the time and sweat to work on the coop of my dreams.

We’re well on our way to completing the coop, and the ”ladies” will be happy.  Tonight they enjoyed their first taste of summer with corn on the cob……

I decided to copy a little chicken fun that I saw on one of my favorite blogs “The art of doing stuff”.  She plays a little game with her hens, and presents them with various foods, and then watches to see if they’ll eat it.  Yesterday I had a little fun presenting Lakwanda, and Eloise with a piece of banana.  Here are some pictures.

So…. Lakwanda was not initially a fan.  I then decided to offer it to both hens together.

Overall….fail.  Fun trying though.

Well, the school year has ended, and we’ve moved onto summer.  You wouldn’t know it from the weather, but yes- it is summer!  I am a proud mother as my kids wrapped up their school years successfully.  My baby just finished kindergarten.  It’s so hard to believe that she’s so grown up.   It was very cute- they had a kindergarten graduation in the classroom, and some of the parents were able to come in and listen to the kids sing the songs they’ld learned in french.  After that, each student was presented with a certificate to honor the completion of kindergarten, and on it was the statement “When I grow up, I want to be a ____.”  My little cutie said that she wanted to be “a Vet.”  My heart sings because I know that this statement comes from two places- the fact that my baby has a HUGE bleeding, compassionate heart, and the fact that I know she wants to be like her mother.  These are both flattering and scary thoughts.

After the big hour and a half of school on their last day, Ainsley’s class had a picnic at the school field.  It was very cute to see the kids play together, and enjoy their time.  Ethan thought it was a pretty good deal that he also got to partake in the goodies.

And so, the summer began.  The kids have enjoyed a few days of “sleeping in”.  I use the term loosely.  They have also enjoyed the first big event of the summer- Canada day!  We took part in the Canada festivities in our community which included a bouncy castle, a live band, cotton candy and some really great fireworks.  What more could a kid want?

On the homefront, I continue to look for work.  However, I have realized that the time I’ve had to myself, and with my kids has been a HUGE blessing.  I realized this morning that I am a calmer, kinder mother that I had been, and for that- I am thankful!  I still have my bad days (I’m sure my husband would testify to that), I still have a lot of questions about what exactly I am to be doing with my life, but in the meantime, I’ve decided to live by a new motto- LOVE WELL.